You Deserve Peace.

I help couples, families and individuals impacted by divorce find solutions towards more peace in their life and relationships. It means money in your pockets instead of paying lawyers every time you have a disagreement.  It means enjoying your children's milestones together like graduations, weddings, holidays and the births of your grandchildren.  It means not living with bitterness or letting your divorce define your story.

Who can benefit from marriage counseling?

Most marriages and other relationships aren’t perfect. Each person brings his or her own ideas, values, opinions and personal history into a relationship, and they don’t always match their partner’s. Those differences don’t necessarily mean your relationship is bound for conflict. To the contrary, differences can be complementary — you know the saying about opposites attracting. These differences can also help people understand, respect and accept opposing views and cultures.

But relationships can be tested. Differences or habits that you once found endearing may grate on your nerves after time together. Sometimes specific issues, such as an extramarital affair or loss of sexual attraction, trigger problems in a relationship. Other times, there’s a gradual disintegration of communication and caring.

No matter the cause, distress in a relationship can create undue stress, tension, sadness, worry, fear and other problems. You may hope your relationship troubles just go away on their own. But left to fester, a bad relationship may only worsen and eventually lead to physical or psychological problems, such as depression. A bad relationship can also create problems on the job and affect other family members or even friendships as people feel compelled to take sides.

Marriage counseling, also called couples therapy, helps couples — married or not — understand and resolve conflicts and improve their relationship. Marriage counseling gives couples the tools to communicate better, negotiate differences, problem solve and even argue in a healthier way.

What is Co-Parent Coaching?

My process for Co-parenting Counseling is that I meet with each parent separately first to hear each of the parent’s stories and concerns.  We will then start meeting in joint sessions. I also like to meet with the child once or twice to get a sense from them about how they are feeling about the divorce. It is powerful to watch their eyes when they find out that their mom and dad have been meeting and talk about them. Kids love it!  Once your child realizes BOTH of you are talking and are on the same page, they will begin to have a harder time using your divorce as a way to manipulate both of you. All children of divorce manipulate whether they do it intentionally or unintentionally.  Often they are also in a lot of pain and feel caught in the middle. My office becomes a safe place where they can share their pain, anger, and confusion about the divorce.S

The first joint session is very structured going over a Co-parent plan as well as working through several educational tools together. These tools can help co-parents learn how to communicate more effectively and disengage from their marital relationship. We then begin working on parenting issues. Both parents bring 1-2 parenting issues to the session. These parenting issues can be anything from scheduling, educational, health, discipline, and communication issues. These conversations are powerful because so many times divorced couples have made incorrect stories up in their heads about the other person. When divorced couples sit down and talk with each other and a third-part who helps them navigate what the other person is saying, this can be a profound moment in both of them moving forward instead of living in the past.

Family and Life Issues

Sometimes parents go through a divorce or separation, experience a season of difficulty with financial resources, drug addiction, aggression, conflict, or even abusive behavior.  Families can feel caught in ruts for a variety of reasons.

 

Some families feel embarrassed, frustrated, or confused about attending counseling. However, take a moment to consider what led to your family to the difficulties they are facing now.  Are you and your partner going through a divorce?  Is anyone dealing with immense stress or lack of support?  Have there been traumatic events within the family?  Does your family often fight or argue?

Problems such as these rarely happen out of nowhere, as families typically develop these difficulties over time. Parents and children often lack the support and knowledge needed to repair relationships, change habits, and work better as a team in the future.  When the problem remains unaddressed, often families find obstacles worsening over time.

Families that find themselves in a rut often experience symptoms such as:

  • Breakdowns in communication among family members
  • Abusive behavior
  • Isolation and lack of support
  • Dependence on alcohol or drugs
  • Unhealthy venting or angry outbursts
  • Child or partner neglect

We know how devastating it can be to deal with these situations – and we want to help.  We offer therapy services specifically tailored to individuals and families.  We provide shame-free, blame-free counseling that focuses on the most relevant issues, identifies solutions, and sets the groundwork for changes that last.

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